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How To: Write a How To column
Get asked to do it and over-excitedly say yes
Forget to do it for a while
Remember you promised to write them and start thinking about it in bed at night in between a debate you were “re-resolving” from 2008 and having an existential crisis in fear of your shoes not matching your underwear
Watch a marathon of Sex and the City for column writing inspiration
Develop depression because you realize you’re a Miranda
Watch How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days for “how to’s” and get distracted by how hot Kate Hudson is
Start writing your column instead of studying for the upcoming bac blanc
Get distracted by the new episode of Riverdale
Finish the column and decide you’re too lazy to change it so you’ll settle for what you did
Repeat this pattern for each column you write
