Letters to My Younger Self: Wishin’ and Hopin’ and Thinkin’ and Prayin’
There are some things that I really admire about you. I love the fact that you refuse to follow the herd and do what everyone else is doing. You preserve your quirkiness and extravagant personality. You believe in magic and the fantastical when everyone else has succumbed to the pressures of being rooted in reality. You live life with the conviction that one day, you will become a famous personality and marry your celebrity crush.
Your daily life is filled with these dreams and hopes, and you don’t let them go. Some people may mistake that for stubbornness. I believe that it was self-possession. Somehow, down the line, that self-possession seemed to fade away, and the parasitical pressures of anxiety and expectation began to take its place. I began doubting my belief systems and changing myself for the benefit of others. I grew out of writing stories about fairies. I stopped wishing on eyelashes. I began burdening myself with the pressure to achieve a reality that didn’t require to daydream, and in the pursuit of such a reality, I lost the self-sustainability I had when my safe place was the realms of my imagination.
So, here’s my advice for you today: don’t stop believing. The moment you lose faith in the magic around you, you begin to lose the magic within you. Even now, when I revisit my old stories of magical worlds and wizardly characters, I find comfort. And in some ways, I wish that comfort was as accessible as it used to be.
You, just a little bit older.