I was sitting next to Sarah, and behind me Ezra and Luke were chatting away. In my mind, I was thinking of Iris, she promised she’d see me in an hour, she said she really wanted to talk to me. Was this the moment? She hadn’t talked to me much since the party the weekend before. And yet, she wanted to see me. Sarah knew I was going to see her, and looked at me smiling.
“What’s going on in your head, that you look so happy?”
“Oh nothing, nothing important.” I smiled. The teacher called out to us.
“Sarah, move to here, I’m tired of you two talking!” Behind us, Ezra and Luke were still talking. Sarah and I looked at each other pretending to be dumbfounded.
I sat there on my own as the teacher lectured us on the importance of Shakespeare.
“So, what’d she say?” Asked Luke.
“Who Iris?” Answered Ezra.
“No, I’m talking about Amanda.” They were being typical boys, it seemed. “Of course I’m talking about Iris, who else?” I froze. I only heard one word out of two from their conversation, but I didn’t like the way it was shaping up.
“Yeah, so I tried easing your name into the conversation, and I think she noticed. She didn’t fight it. She asked me what you thought of her.”
“So? What did you say?”
“I told her you might still be interested, but no one knows with you. She confessed to me she had trouble not thinking of you over the past few months. Move on her, now.”
“Nope, don’t really have the balls. Not after what I did. I really let her down there.”
“Shut up, just go for it.”
I gulped down the pain.
Heavy of soul, and heavy of feet he made his way to her. What was supposed to be the greatest moment of his life was turning sour.
When she saw me, her face brightened and she smiled.
“Hey.” I said, trying to smile.
“Look, here’s why I wanted to see you. Luke and I were talking last night,” my heart dropped down, “and he talked to me about you.” My heart was jolted back to frightening life. “And listen, we’re just friends, right? I really like you, but not in that way. You understand?”
My world shattered. Everything I’d ever lived with her sped through my brain. Everything I’d ever thought. Everything I’d ever done. I stood there, like a fool, for a few seconds too long.
“Yeah, hum, listen, hum, I don’t really care anymore, not where I am. But yeah, I don’t want to stop talking to you either…”
“Great! It would have hurt me so to have to stop.”
“However much it would have hurt you, I doubt it would have been even a fraction of how you’re hurting me right now,” I thought.